We have grown up in a culture where respecting elders for their wisdom and maturity seems paramount and it’s an expectation firmly established in our subconscious. This established hierarchy can make apologizing or repairing a rupture with our kids difficult. Moreover, for most parents who did not receive apologies from their parents, it’s unclear why and how to make amends. Most conscious parents do apologize if they realize that they are at fault. That’s a great practice to repair a rupture. It shows kids that there is nothing wrong with apologizing. It also teaches them that everyone makes mistakes and mistakes aren’t…
Author: Namitha Raju
Several schools are introducing kids to the concept of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset as part of their social-emotional learning program. It’s a great awareness tool, thanks to studies by Stanford University researcher Dr. Carol Dweck. Dr. Dweck’s research discovered the two main ways people think about their ability to do things: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. Her research looks at the sources of these two distinct mindsets, their role in motivation and self-regulation, and how it influences achievement and interpersonal relations. The illustration above shows how people with growth and fixed mindsets go through their…
A clever advertisement recently released (https://youtu.be/36SDHEwSA_U) by Bournvita, a children’s health drink company in India, promoted a social message. In this ad, they changed the packaging of their health drink and presented it in unimaginable containers (such as a glass cleaner, a soap box, a toilet cleaner, a tissue box, etc.) to see how someone would react to a different container shape instead of how it is meant to be. They used this analogy to urge parents not to force kids to choose a profession against their will and make them something they don’t want to be! The ad ended…
Most of us are aware of the controlling parent and the lenient parent. A controlling parent manages their kids’ behaviors using dominating techniques such as threats, yelling, shaming, sarcasm, or punishments. Parents who use control don’t like it but feel compelled to use it. Moreover, with time, the threats go up in intensity. Otherwise, they don’t work. While this method might produce obedience, it doesn’t teach kids why the desired behaviors matter. Further, kids learn to find less desirable ways to get the things they want, such as sneaking or lying. Lenient parenting, on the other hand, has its own…
A clever advertisement recently released (https://youtu.be/36SDHEwSA_U) by Bournvita, a children’s health drink company in India, promoted a social message. In this ad, they changed the packaging of their health drink and presented it in unimaginable containers (such as a glass cleaner, a soap box, a toilet cleaner, a tissue box, etc.) to see how someone would react to a different container shape instead of how it is meant to be. They used this analogy to urge parents not to force kids to choose a profession against their will and make them something they don’t want to be! The ad…
Most of us are aware of the controlling parent and the lenient parent. A controlling parent manages their kids’ behaviors using dominating techniques such as threats, yelling, shaming, sarcasm, or punishments. Parents who use control don’t like it but feel compelled to use it. Moreover, with time, the threats go up in intensity. Otherwise, they don’t work. While this method might produce obedience, it doesn’t teach kids why the desired behaviors matter. Further, kids learn to find less desirable ways to get the things they want, such as sneaking or lying Lenient parenting, on the other hand, has its own…
Do you recognize any of these recurring themes in your parenting? *Wails* I need the iPad. I’m in the middle of something! I hate you. You’re so unfair! *Whines* I hate this! I don’t want this. You never make anything I like! *Yells* I didn’t do it. Stop accusing me! Get out of my room! *Groans* I don’t want to do it! How do you react when you hear something like this from your kids? How does it feel? How do you feel about your kids in those moments? How do you feel about yourself in those moments? Let’s dive…
Negative Effects of Praising While praising may seem like it encourages kids to do well, it erodes a child’s inner confidence Any praise aimed at our kid’s character or the outcome (e.g., smart, intelligent, pretty, brave, good job, excellent grades) focuses on something a kid has no control over. Moreover, praise is an external motivator that hinders one’s ability to build intrinsic motivation The best alternative to motivating our kids is not to say anything when they do something. Conditional acceptance kills our kid’s curiosities, depriving them of developing the critical qualities that make them lifelong learners As parents, we…
Parenting is an incredibly rewarding, challenging, and complex journey. It involves nurturing a child from infancy into adulthood, imparting them with values, fostering their development, and helping them navigate through life. Remember, there’s no perfect formula for parenting. Each child is unique and may require different approaches. It’s also crucial to adapt your parenting style as your child grows and their needs change. The most important thing is to provide a nurturing environment where your child feels loved, valued, and prepared to take on the world. Dr. Namitha Raju makes this complex issue easy to understand with general tips and…
