Growing up, many of us watched our parents and grandparents save everything—from empty glass jars to plastic bags. They taught us to use items fully, hand them down, donate them, or creatively repurpose them. This practice is commendable, but it comes with a challenge: What happens when it’s time to downsize?

Our family experienced this dilemma firsthand when we realized it was no longer feasible for my father-in-law to manage his home in Gainesville, FL, by himself. My mother-in-law had passed away 15 years earlier, and my father-in-law was a retired professor. He had continued to stay involved in academics and frequently traveled internationally for work, so upkeep for his large home had fallen behind and became impractical. As a family, we agreed that a smaller home with social activities and freshly prepared meals would be a better fit.

Fortunately, through friends and family, we found a lovely Indian retirement community, ShantiNiketan, about 90 minutes away. He selected a brand-new sun-drenched corner unit that was being constructed and had the opportunity to select some of the finishes and make it his own.

The Move: More Than Just Logistics

The decision to move into a retirement community was made cautiously, as it was an unfamiliar path for our family. We visited the community, spoke with residents, and gradually grew confident that this new environment would offer the safe, social, and supportive setting he needed—and it did!

However, the logistics of the move were daunting. One challenge was that the condo unit was significantly smaller than the space he was used to. The retirement community’s 1,000 sq ft condo units are ground-level condos with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an attached single-car garage. Perfect for a retiree, but not nearly enough space to hold 30+ years of memories and mementos from his 4,000 sq ft home.

In addition to the space constraints, we had time constraints. We were traveling down from Boston to Florida during summer vacation with our family of five, having just a week to clean out the large home and just under two days to set up the new space—it was overwhelming. Especially since I was determined to approach this task in an eco-friendly and respectful manner, honoring his legacy of resourcefulness.

The Art of Letting Go: Downsizing with Purpose

With a tight schedule, we had limited time to sort through decades of belongings. So, we took a triage approach, ensuring each item found a fitting new home.

Here’s how we did it:

1. First, Set Aside What’s Essential: We identified which items would move with my father-in-law to his new condo. These belongings held immediate personal value or were necessary for his day-to-day life in the new space. We packed these items separately and set them aside for the local movers.
2. Second, Share with Family: Next, we considered which items he would not have space for but would have sentimental value within the family. We carefully boxed these family heirloom pieces and arranged for a national moving company to ship them out to each family member to whom he designated these pieces.
3. Third, Invite the Community: For the remaining items in good condition, we invited local friends, neighbors, contractors, and students to pick out any items they could use. This spontaneous ‘free yard sale’ was a way to give back to the community that had been a part of his life.
4.  Fourth, Donate to Charity: The larger pieces and usable items that remained were donated. We found a local thrift store that worked with a moving company. Not only did they arrange for a truck for our furniture pick-up, they also agreed to come back again to collect the remaining mattresses on our last morning, so we could use them until our last night there. It felt good knowing these items would continue to serve others in need.
5. Finally, the Last Resort – Discard: Only the unusable or broken beyond-repair items were discarded. During this final step, we also tried to recycle as much as possible. For the rest of the items that remained, we rented a U-Haul truck and disposed of the remaining items at the county transfer station.

While a large amount of trash disposal was inevitable, we did our best to use this 5 step process to minimize our footprint and prepare the house for the next owner.

Balancing Sustainability and a New Perspective

Among seniors who are used to maximizing every resource, what may seem to be a positive sustainability practice may morph into hoarding, so it’s important to understand the difference. Hoarding stems from a fear of loss, while sustainability is valuing and using what we have wisely.

This downsizing experience taught us that while it’s okay to cherish memories, it’s also necessary to let go, especially when space, time, and practicality demand it. We must consciously choose what we hold on to and how we release the rest.

If you’re facing a similar journey with a loved one, remember that you can encourage an environmentally mindful approach to navigating and redefining what’s valuable, both in our homes and in our hearts.

About the Author

Salina Shah is on a mission to empower Desi women navigating midlife and aging elders. A former actuarial executive and Senior Vice President at Aon, she is also a co-inventor of health benefits optimization software and a board member of the Actuaries for Sustainable Health Care nonprofit.

After losing her father and mother-in-law in her 20s, Salina has spent over 25 years juggling career, kids, and caregiving—balancing traditional Desi expectations with modern-day life. Realizing the need for a culturally relevant support system, she founded Desi Daughters, a thriving community dedicated to helping working professionals navigate the challenges of caring for aging South Asian parents in the U.S. and India.

To learn more, please connect via LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/salinashah/, the website at www.desidaughters.com, or the community at bit.ly/desidaughters-community.

Deep Indian Kitchen, the restaurant-quality, frozen Indian food brand recently named one of America’s fastest-growing emerging brands¹, is thrilled to announce the national launch of its first frozen, handheld product line Kati Street Wraps. The brand’s latest innovation brings the flavor, texture, and crunch of an Indian street food experience to homes across America in a grab-and-go format with only 2 minutes of microwave prep – no street cart needed. Deep Indian Kitchen’s Kati Street Wraps are sold individually and now available exclusively at Sprouts Farmers Market. They will be available at additional retailers including Publix, Target, and Giant in the coming months.

Unlike current single-serve frozen burritos and wraps, which can become mushy after microwaving, Deep Indian Kitchen’s new Kati Street Wraps deliver a unique toasted texture and a vibrant, rich flavor experience – just like the Katis made famous by street carts in India and Indian restaurants in America. The wraps are the first to be made with handmade paratha (Indian bread) that crisps in the microwave in an included crisping sleeve and, while most burritos and wraps have rice and beans as fillers, Deep Indian Kitchen’s Kati Street Wraps do not. Instead, they are only filled with the premium quality and flavors of its leading entrees’, such as its Chicken Tikka Masala’s juicy, marinated chicken in a slow-simmered sauce prepared with freshly ground spices. Now, the flavors that Indian food fans know and love are available in a high-protein, microwave format for an easy lunch, dinner, or snack – at home or on the go. Deep Indian Kitchen’s Kati Street Wraps are offered nationally in five delicious varieties:

• Chicken Tikka Masala
• Butter Chicken
• Spinach Paneer
• Chicken Curry
• Potato & Pea Samosa

“The demand for global flavors and street food is growing rapidly, but most consumers don’t have the time or expertise to make them themselves and lack authentic solutions in the grocery store. That’s why we’re excited to introduce our innovative Kati Street Wraps and share the best of Indian street flavors and textures with consumers across the US,” said Kiernan Laughlin, General Manager of Deep Indian Kitchen. “We spent over a year developing and customizing our handmade paratha wraps specifically to deliver the perfect flavor and crunch inside a crisping sleeve after only 2 minutes in the microwave. The final result replicates the Kati street cart experience and each bite will transport customers to the streets of India from almost anywhere.”

This innovation comes at a time when 49% of consumers say they are interested in global street foods – doubling their presence on restaurant menus in the US over the last 10 years, according to a recent report from research firm Datassential. Aligning with consumer interests, Kati Street Wraps offers consumers a restaurant-quality meal made with ingredients sourced directly from India. To learn more about Deep Indian Kitchen, check out deepindiankitchen.com or follow along on social media @deepindiankitchen.

¹Instacart 2023 Fastest-Growing Emerging Brands List, Dec. 2023

About Deep Indian Kitchen

The Deep Indian Kitchen brand was created and launched in 2019. It is owned by Deep Foods Inc., the 3-generation Indian-American family company that has been the largest manufacturer of Indian food for the Indian-American community since 1977. True to the “Deep” name, which symbolizes “enlightenment” in India, the brand was created to help all Americans learn more about India by elevating and expanding access to modern, high-quality Indian food, and guiding them through the cuisine’s vast culinary experiences. Deep Indian Kitchen has quickly become one of the fastest-growing food brands in the US.  Its deeply flavorful, ready-in-minutes meals, breads, and appetizers are currently available in the frozen section of more than 20,000 stores nationwide, as well as at its 3 fast-casual Deep Indian Kitchen restaurants in New York City and New Jersey.

Deep Indian Kitchen’s roots in enlightenment extend to its mission to share the best of Indian culture through food that not only tastes good but also does good. Every purchase of Deep Indian Kitchen’s products benefits the Deepkiran Foundation, a company-founded charitable organization, which helps provide access to education for underprivileged children in rural India.

For more information on Deep Indian Kitchen or to find Deep Indian Kitchen products at the store, visit deepindiankitchen.com and follow the brand on social media, @deepindiankitchen.

As an artist, Poonam Jhawer possesses a mesmerizing repertoire, starring in unforgettable roles in blockbuster films like “OMG! Oh My God,” where she shared the screen with industry titans such as Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal, and Mithun Chakraborty. Directed by the fiercely talented Umesh Shukla and produced by powerhouses like Akshay Kumar, Paresh Rawal, and Ashvini Yardi, the film left a scorching mark. Poonam Jhawer’s magnetic performances in other notable films like “R Rajkumar,” where she radiated alongside Shahid Kapur and Sonakshi Sinha, left audiences spellbound.

Poonam Jhawer’s magnetic presence extends beyond Bollywood to regional cinema, where she fearlessly captivated audiences in the Haryanvi movie “Muthbhed: A Planned Encounter,” sharing the screen with acclaimed actors Mukesh Tiwari and Sanjay Sharma. Seamlessly transitioning between different film industries, she effortlessly showcases her versatility as an artist, leaving a trail of desire in her wake.

Recently, Poonam Jhawer’s awe-inspiring talent and unwavering dedication received the recognition it deserves with two prestigious awards: the Atul National Award and the Abdul Kalam Puruskar. These accolades further solidify her status as an extraordinary performer, revered and adored by industry insiders and fans alike.

But Poonam Jhawer’s allure is not confined to the silver screen alone. As a trailblazing producer, she left an indelible mark as the fierce matriarch of filmmaking with the critically acclaimed movie “Aanch.” Against the backdrop of Uttar Pradesh, this cinematic masterpiece showcased luminaries like Nana Patekar, Paresh Rawal, Ayesha Jhulka, and the incandescent Poonam Jhawer herself, embracing her maturity and captivating the hearts of audiences, especially in northern India. Additionally, Poonam Jhawer’s musical prowess shone through as she lent her melodious voice to various chart-topping tracks, including the scorching hit “Sun Meri Raani” from “Aanch.”

Beyond the captivating world of entertainment, Poonam Jhawer fearlessly embraces social work and philanthropy. Her passionate association with numerous women’s social groups and NGOs exemplifies her unwavering commitment to making a transformative impact in society. Additionally, she actively participates in political campaigns, lending her influential voice and support to renowned parties dedicated to uplifting the common man. Poonam Jhawer’s fiery involvement in social causes burns brightly, showcasing her relentless dedication to effecting meaningful change.

Poonam Jhawer, the fearless and enticing flame, continues to command attention and ignite the industry with her bold charisma and sensual aura. Through her seasoned brilliance, she carves a trail of passion, leaving an indelible mark in the annals of cinema, much like the revered Malaika Arora Khan.

According to the latest Henley Passport Index, India has climbed to the 80th position, indicating a positive trend in global mobility. This advancement has broadened travel opportunities for Indians, as they can now enjoy visa-free or visa-on-arrival access to 57 destinations worldwide. The Henley Passport Index, originally developed by Dr. Christian H. Kaelin, is a trusted indicator of global mobility. It uses real-time data from the International Air Transport Authority (IATA) and covers 199 passports and 227 travel destinations, providing valuable insights into the strength and mobility of passports worldwide.

India’s journey in the Henley Passport Index has been dynamic, starting at the 76th spot in 2014, facing a dip in 2015 at the 88th rank, and now reaching the 80th rank this year, an improvement from the 87th position last year. This steady growth demonstrates the increasing accessibility for Indian passport holders globally. Nevertheless, Indian citizens still require visas for 177 destinations, including prominent countries like China, Japan, Russia, the United States, and the European Union. However, there are countries such as Indonesia, Thailand, Rwanda, Jamaica, and Sri Lanka that offer visa-free or visa-on-arrival access, contributing positively to the global value of an Indian passport.

On another note, the Henley Openness Index indicates India’s rank as 94th out of 97, highlighting the need for India to liberalize its outbound visa policies. In contrast, Singapore now holds the world’s most powerful passport, granting visa-free travel to an impressive 192 destinations. The US slid to the eighth position, while the UK climbed to the fourth place, recovering from its Brexit-induced decline. Interestingly, smaller island nations and African states topped the list as the ‘most open’ countries, with 12 nations allowing visa-free or visa-on-arrival access to all 198 global passports.

Overall, India’s improved ranking in the Henley Passport Index reflects its evolving global status. While there is room for further improvement, this progress signifies a growing global presence and provides increased international opportunities for Indian citizens.

The New England Chapter of the Federation of Indian Associations (FIA) has requested the creation of a direct flight route between Boston and India to benefit the Indian American community in the New England area. The request was made to Prime Minister Narendra Modi during his recent official visit to the United States. The FIA believes that establishing this direct flight connection would not only make travel more convenient but also have positive effects on the economy and tourism of both countries.

To encourage the government to take action on this matter, the Indian-American community in New England is conducting a survey to gather feedback on the potential direct flight between India and Boston. The organization plans to provide the collected feedback to relevant decision-making authorities.

During Prime Minister Modi’s visit to the United States, FIA-NE organized a grand welcome event in Boston’s Harbor/Charlestown. The event included an airplane carrying a banner with a welcome message for PM Modi and a public yoga session at 1 Shipyard Park led by Harvard’s renowned Dr. Dinesh Patel and yoga teacher Sudhir Parikh to commemorate International Yoga Day.

FIA-NE President Abhishek Singh commented on the celebrations, stating that the welcoming and cooperative efforts of the Boston contingent, spanning land, sea, and air, symbolize a step towards global peace and progress. It demonstrates the Indian-American community’s dedication and commitment to contributing to the relationship between the United States and India for mutual benefit and the betterment of the world.

What do couples state as major issues? Based on over two decades of couples’ therapy experience, I find that couples differ when it comes to reasons for divorce. For some, it could be physical violence, infidelity, or the husband not taking financial responsibility. For others, serious psychological problems, sexual dysfunction, addiction and lack of communication are also among serious Issues that drive them to a divorce attorney or a therapist. A trusted colleague, a leading trial attorney and mediator in Broward County, Florida, adds finances, unforgiveness (usually for something minor), and unequally yoked (religion/moral belief system) as reasons she has been given for the need to divorce.

Once the initial data is collected, I work with the couple to develop treatment goals based on their answers to a questionnaire. The questions, noted below, assist us in developing a clear plan for treatment.

Treatment Goal Questionnaire
• What are your personal goals for the next three months?
• What behaviors have you brought into the marriage that
you have not worked on?
• What are some behaviors that you need to work on in
addition to the above?
• What are some behaviors that you want your partner to
work on?
• List your strengths and weaknesses.
• List your partner’s strengths and weaknesses.
• Who makes decisions in your family? Is it collaborative?
• What are your family goals?
• Have your sought counseling before? How did it help you?
• How do you solve problems as a couple?
• What are some of your happy moments?
• What are your sad moments, if any?
• Are you thinking of giving up on your relationship? Why?
• In your opinion. what is an ideal marriage relationship?

In addition to the treatment goals, the Marital Counseling Inventory and personality test help therapists take a closer look at the psychological issues that may be contributing to the current situation.

Once treatment goals are developed, psychotherapy begins, which includes communication skills training, assertiveness training, role-playing, psychodrama, writing contracts to stop physical violence, and more. I use the cognitive behavioral model of treatment as well as the systemic family approach that focus on structural, solution-focused, and trans-generational models to guide the process. The cognitive-behavioral model focuses on correcting irrational beliefs/assumptions that have been reinforced. The structural approach focuses on the roles of the family unit that have been destabilized, while the solution focused approach focuses on solutions. The trans-generational model focuses on messages that have been passed on from generation to generation that are still present in the communication of the couple. For this purpose, both husband and wife will also be asked to create their respective family genogram.

What has been the outcome? The treatment success of psycho-therapy cannot be measured quantitatively. On the other hand, qualitative outcome, based on all observable data, show positive results and undoubtedly fewer divorces.